Monday, July 1, 2013

On Fear

I decided to take a few days off work during this holiday week to prepare Ms. Marisol for the impending journey north to Titusville.

I brought Fiona with me to Islamorada so she could get some time with grandparents, and sequestered myself to the humid and sweltering engine room and controls deck. This was not a pleasure cruise. I've been here for a day and not left the dock.

Everywhere wires crisscross below the cockpit hatch. I very barely squeeze into the space, which is on the starboard side of the boat, and perch on the slanting walls just beyond the transmission and diesel fuel tank. I stare at the rats nest of wires for nearly an hour and cannot make sense of them. That's when I decide to ask the Internet for help at SailNet, and reach for the 12 Volt Bible.

The electrical system is daunting. I am daunted. I need to hit the books and find a level of comfort.

Eventually I walk away and concentrate on jobs I can complete. With T Maw's help in the engine room, we replaced a broken drain in the cockpit. She was a hero for her efforts and will be mentioned by name in the ships log.

Tomorrow I plan to scrape the barnacle riddled propeller at White Marlin Beach. I may even go to the top of the mast using a new Bosun's Chair. If I do, I will take a point of view photo to share.

I received a lot of encouragement on SailNet today. It represented the best of forums and the Internet. Strangers wrote lengthy instructions and helped keep me on task. Thank you!

I lack experience but I believe I am capable and can overcome my fears to learn everything this boat will teach me. I don't really know how to overcome my inability to take things apart without knowing the outcome. I am not that person, the one who breaks and fixes devices for fun. I want things to work, the way they were designed to work.

It's a leaning process, I hope.

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